Having a relationship with someone who lost their spouse in the past due to a wicked illness or some other tragic circumstances can be a life-changing experience and we’re not only talking about a positive change here. Therefore, we believe there are several important things you need to be aware of before you embark on such a romantic journey, mainly because we don’t want to see you get hurt. It’s okay to notice when you start dating a widower that your relationship goes through a couple of different phases. Still, if these keep persisting even after a significant period of time perhaps you should consider moving on before it’s too late.
He’s hesitant when it comes to meeting you with his family members
Please keep in mind this is okay only in case he has lost his wife recently and thus doesn’t want to insult the memory of her that is still quite painful and fresh. On the other hand, dating too soon after the unfortunate event might be another troublesome sign because everyone agrees that grieving is the process that although perfectly normal, it still the rhythm of its own and requires some time. Further, there are men that simply got used to having a woman around the house to do cooking, cleaning, and laundry but you should ask yourself whether he’s that kind of guy and do you really want to be around someone like that with whom you’ll never be sure about the true nature of his emotions.
He’s still waiting to introduce you to his friends
This is also one of potential side effects of a widower dating. And while it’s perfectly okay to stay off the grid when it comes to meeting his random acquaintances and other casual buddies, introducing you and – consequently – letting you in the circle of his dearest and closest friends can be an unmistakable sign that he’s ready to move on. Still, if he keeps coming up with the excuses while months pass by there’s definitely something wrong.
He refuses to remove the shrines that are all around the house
It’s okay to keep a photo or two of his late wife somewhere around the house or perhaps somewhere where it won’t be visible to you. You shouldn’t think of it as an insult, but rather as nurturing the memory of everything beautiful that existed in his life before you walked in. Still, it doesn’t imply that he thinks about the life he’s having now as the second best option, but please understand that he lost someone very important to him that he’ll probably never forget but this doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love or respect you.
If he happens to have kids from the first marriage, it could also be a painful reminder of his previous life because he’ll always see his late spouse in their eyes. The kids might also be disapproving when it comes to their father’s new relationship, especially if they’re younger, but you should be patient no matter what. Be frank about your feelings about their father but do point out that you don’t want to replace anyone because you’re perfectly aware it’s not possible.
The fact is widowers dating other women, especially if they’re still grieving, are not always completely honest with themselves about their true expectations. This means that you should keep your eyes open and watch out for any sign of a suspicious behavior that tends to repeat over a longer timespan. Be understanding, loving and patient but also don’t allow anyone to draw you in an emotional game of any kind, just like in any other form of dating out there and you’ll be fine.